On the 21st Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me…

I took some pictures on the 2nd of January, intending to write a blog post that day. That didn’t happen – apparently my toddler doesn’t understand me when I say, “get away I need to update my blog with silly stuff” but whatev. I didn’t delete the pictures, despite deciding it was too far into the new year to write what I’m about to share with you now. And then something I found this morning changed everything. But first, some prefacing!

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This was my Christmas tree the day I took it down on January 2nd (I originally got it the Saturday after Thanksgiving). It’s a live tree, I don’t know the type (anyone? Bueller?).

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I usually leave my tree up longer than the 2nd day of January but it started losing needles like nobody’s business about 5 days prior. I say losing but more like ejecting needles. Vomiting needles. Spewing needles all over the place. So, you can kinda see the barrenness of it all because this tree wanted to be NAKED.

So, we took the ornaments off, the lights, and I unscrewed the tree stand and drug the poor tree through my living room, down the hall, through my dining room and out the back door. As I type these words I am just now realizing I could have taken it out the front door that was 10 feet away but, as Elsa would say, the past is in the past. Moving on…

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Look at this insanity. My oldest scooped up as many needles as she could and put them in a box. Why? 3 reasons:

1. I love my vacuum. I wish it to live a long and prosperous life. Vacuuming up a forest of needles does not perpetuate that wish.
2. My kids get bored. This helped.
3. SURELY there is some Pinterest-y craft I can do with these, right? RIGHT?!?

I find it a little hard to believe this tree had any needles left. Good news, I have a pretty good idea what my living room would look like with pine green shag carpet and I have to say, I’m not adverse to the thought!

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I vacuumed for a solid hour. I have never labored so hard for a tree. This thing dropped nary a needle til, like, 2 days after Christmas. The struggle was, indeed, SO VERY REAL.

I continued to vacuum up needles for about 4 more days, finding them in my shoes, upstairs (thanks, toddler!), under the couch, all sorts of places. If you have ever had a real tree you understand. That’s part of the insanity magic of having one. THANKFULLY, this tree was not sap-ful or I’d have been an instant artificial tree convert. Anyway, I’ve caught you up, here is where this morning’s find comes in.

Ready?

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I purchase eggs at least once a week. This dozen was purchased on January 12th. No one touches the eggs but me because no one cooks but me.  The eggs are out of reach of crazy pants toddler too. I used some eggs in a recipe on the 12th when I came home from the store and then they were closed and put on the top shelf of the refrigerator til this morning.

What in the ever lovin’ heck? A rogue needle crawled to the kitchen, to the fridge, opened the door, flip-flopped itself up the condiments to the top shelf, squeezed under the Styrofoam flap, and then lay in the empty space waiting for me?

No, really, WHAT.

I intended to recycle the tree but really was held back by the inevitable needle excrement being all over my car, so it sits, upside down, in my backyard. The cats occasionally use it for shelter or for clawing so it’s not a total waste, right?

Am I getting an artificial tree next year to spare me future insanity magic?

No way.

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~ Fayelle

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About ladygoat

Fayelle Ewuakye is a follower of Christ, a wife, mom to 2 girls (7 and 3), a severe autumn/Christmas maniac, a lover of all things sparkly, Georgia resident, and a silliness guru. All she has right now is her phone. Be kind. Find her on Twitter too @Ladygoat or Instagram @Fayelle123! You can also find her monthly at the Prayers For Girls blog! (http://prayersforgirls.com/blog/)
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3 Responses to On the 21st Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me…

  1. bluiidmommy says:

    This was such a fun post to read!!

  2. ladygoat says:

    Haha, thanks!

  3. Chelsea says:

    This is amazing. I literally laughed out loud!

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