16 January 2015
My husband and I have been married almost 9 years. We have our ups and downs like any couple. Those times when it’s all cartoon hearts and playful eye winks, and those times when you look at each other with, “ugh, YOU again.” Our story is a bit unique as he’s from Ghana and we were pen pals for 6 years before finally meeting and, *gasp* getting married 2 weeks later!
(Yeah, there’s a tiny bit more to it than that, but that’s the crazy, beautiful story in a nutshell!)
But I’ll tell you a little somethin’ somethin’. NO matter what our fickle feelings are doing, there is a time when my “thank you” is ALWAYS heartfelt, and his attractiveness soars back to the cartoon hearts: when he does the dishes. His love language is already Acts of Service and this one is big for me. We hand wash all the dishes all the time, so it gets SO old SO fast and when I come around the corner and see him in my apron (sorry, no pic of that… yet!), elbows deep in suds… be still my heart!
My two little girls are SOMETHING. They can annoy the absolute bejeebies outta each other, and then this love will show up in the cutest little ways. My big N1 blew bubbles for her little sister. For a long time. Without complaint. Because she saw how much baby girl loved em. And I smiled and said, “you are such a blessing of a big sister, sweetie!” And she smiled because she LOVES being reminded of how great a big sister she is!
17 January 2015
Today we celebrated a dear friend’s birthday at Chuck E Cheese. N1 has wanted to go for about a year (she’s only been once in her life) and we finally had a good reason to enter one of the craziest places on earth. She and her little friend (not whose birthday it was) had a blast together. Watching them scream and smile and hearing all the, “MOMMY YOU GOTTA SEE THIS” made me laugh with delight. Kids are so simple!
The colors of this day stopped me in my tracks. I stood, quietly, with wonder and tried to soak it all in. It’s not always this way. The blue isn’t nearly as vivid in the summer and I’m usually staring down at small children to make sure no one face plants the pavement or goes digging for dog poop (looking at you, N2). It was nice to be stunned into a moment of silence.
I’m gonna be honest. I rarely pray with my eyes closed. My brain has 8,693 really loud thoughts racing around all the time (as of last count) and when I close my eyes, they think it’s party time. When my eyes are open, and I find a focus area/object, I can rein em in a little. Focusing my thoughts is a huge struggle for me, but it’s improving little by little. So I need to give my poor brain as much help as possible as I train those thoughts to use indoor voices. Sorry for the picture quality, but a tiny kid was lightly sleeping nearby so I couldn’t move to get a better shot.
This is my focus. Mainly those flowers. My prayer time is usually during nap time and 9 times out of 10, I have the smallest girl on my lap so I can’t get up. So this is my view and this is where I try to keep my inner self as I pray. I plan on adding bigger flowers to fill a little more wall space and give me more color to focus on while I’m praying. Whatever works, man. Whatever works.
18 January 2015
Perspective. Changes EVERYTHING. The Apostle Paul had been beaten severely multiple times, had been left for dead multiple times, shipwrecked, bitten by snakes, imprisoned for years and was awaiting a meeting with one of history’s nastiest, Nero. And this is what Paul says:
ALL he cared about was that the gospel of Christ be advanced.
Yeah, you can bet right now if I’m Paul? I’m whining BIG TIME. Not for him. All comfort, all entitlement, all self-indulgence? GONE.
I am encouraged. And a little irritated that I have so far to go. But it’s a beautiful gift. To be redirected. Reminded of the real goal.